Something I had in me for a while...

If there was only a way for me to have you back in my life
I promise you I'd do anything to make it all better this time.
I regret so many things, but I'd never regret meeting you,
because without you crossing into my path I think I wouldn't have experienced the best part of my life.
It is sad to see and sad to admit that I had you once,
but that now it's all part of the past.
I'm draggged down by this pain inside me,
which causes me to lose my senses when i hit reality.
There are so many questions left inside me
sorrow, pain, and many hurting doubts.
I wish I'd knew what happened...
Did life not want us together?
If not then why did we become one before this present time?
Or was my love and feelings for you not exactly what you wanted?
Am I lost and living a lie by having this feeling that still tells me that somehow you do care?
Or was I wrong and never saw that the answer to that was always there?